Demolition Man: Addendum.

The scene is a festive looking small office room. Morris is writing something at a desk.  Yolanda comes in “What are you doing Morris? I’ve been shouting you for ages, your tea is ready” “One moment my sweet lichen filled parakeet, I am just putting the finishing touches to this Christmas card to the late David Attenborough.” “What the fuck are you talking about Morris? David Attenborough isn’t dead?” “Ho ho not yet my sweet, merely a little precognitive jape at his expense.” “What are you up to Morris?” “It seems the terminal roasting that Nutkins received has caused some offence in the broadcasting naturalist circles, Attenborough in particular has cited it as vicious and cruel. Hence in the spirit of good will I am sending him this seasonal epistle.” “Well that’s nice of you, are you saying sorry then? are you going to bring him back, I mean bring him back properly not just some zombie or disguised as Terry Nutkins Johnson?”  “Not a bad idea my sweet, maybe later. But no this is no friendly greeting, this card has special warming properties, allow me to demonstrate. Johnson!” ,Johnson comes in with disguised as David Attenborough Thompson at gun point. Morris gets up and Thompson is seated at the desk. Johnson then puts a postman’s hat on before handing Thompson a card like envelope. Thompson nervously fiddles with the envelope before getting out the card. Nothing happens. “No Johnson he has to read it!” A clout with the butt of his gun and a poke makes Thompson open the card. Still nothing. Thompson looks terrified and soils himself. “Morris my carpet!” “Johnson he can’t read! My sweet the real Attenborough would read the card, hang on my perilous napkin holder.” Morris peers over Thompson’s shoulder. “Merry Christmas you turkey bastard from Morris.” He reads, after which the card ignites with a terrible heat instantly setting fire to the seated Thompson. Thompson utters a hideous “wakark!” Johnson delivers a swift well placed cranial blow to prevent Thompson from flailing around the room. He thuds onto the desk, as the  flames lick round him. “See my love, a reading activated incendiary device. Johnson! The fire extinguisher. That will teach him eh?”

Published in: on December 2, 2016 at 1:39 pm  Leave a Comment  

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